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Obsessive love when it hurts too much to let go pdf: Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go

A Definite read for anyone interested in the subject concerned.

David Stewart
Friday, December 1, 2017
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  • Of course when speaking about "obsessive love," the underlying theme is limerence, and I'm glad that although the word isn't used in the book, the author suggests Howard M. And we would get togetherand havelunch or work out businessarrangementsor thingslike that.

  • Susan Forward.

  • It gave me great insight into what in blazes was going on with this person, and it sure validated a lot of my feelings as I made the case that this person was crazy, that the whole of the allegedly innocent actions was greater than the sum of its parts. At this point I'd smashedall the lights so it waspitch-black.

  • Refresh and try again. Published January 2nd by Bantam first published June

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It gave me great insight into what in blazes was going on with this person, and it sure validated a lot of my feelings as I made the case that this person was crazy, that the whole of the allegedly innocent actions was greater than the sum of its parts. Overall, a really good book for everyone struggling with this issue and also for family and friends of both obses The author claims that obsession stems from neglect during childhood. One of the most thought-provoking book I have read. This is a very insightful and fascinating book.

Kirh I was sick and tired of paying the bills. Unfortunately,this healthy decisionis rarelypermanent. Denial is one of our most basic,potent defensemechanisms. Shouldn't she have known early on that somethingwas wrong? Debra realizedthat,evenat the last,shehad overlookedabsolute proof of Hal's continuing deceit.

Saw parts of myself in many of her examples -- not as much in my behavior towards the odf person but definitely in my thinking patterns and behavior towards myself. Forward maintains offices in Sherman Oaks, California. She is not just an ordinary therapist but a gifted person who is really good at writing and telling stories. Aug 24, Justin Pratt added it. The book described my behavior very accurately. May 04, Bridgett rated it it was amazing Shelves: psychology.

This is Going to Hurt

Rick's solution was to borrow from Natalie to staveoff the successionofpeoplewho seemedbent on betrayinghim, usinghim, or failing him. He couldn't sellit without fixing it up, but he couldn't fix it up becausehe wasbroke. Before that reality drives me down a lane, and into a ravine all by myself.

This is alsothe third book I've done with my editor, Toni Burbank. Perhapshe didn't find her intellectuallystimulatingenough. May 2. Oct 11, Ypatios Varelas rated it really liked it.

It's me. The pattern is based on the loss of the parent's love and goo need to find it later in life. The author claims that obsession stems from neglect during childhood. Although some of her approaches in her other books, such as Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why are a bit more old-school talk therapy, hitting your therapist with a foam bat and so forth they're not completely outdated.

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Ijust sathome and got depressedand watchedthe phone. You also get free access to Scribd! The followirrg checklist will help you make that determination. Revenge lsn't Sweet If you find yourselfpreoccupiedwith revengefantasies,I strongly recommendthat you seekprofessionalhelp to ensurethat your fantasiesdon't escalateinto realities.

Preview — Obsessive Love by Susan Forward. Forward intersperses a number of case studies together with her counseling wisdom to show the ugly underbelly of obsessive romantic fixation. I wondered if there're some books that describe obsessive emotions which are less dramatic, more subtle, and still insightful? Thanks for telling us about the problem.

I had been the target of obsessive lover with my last relationship, however I had no idea that I had been dealing with obsessiveness. He was alwaysout of money but, accordingto Rick, it was neverhis fault. Yes,shewasdependent on him, but she resentedthat dependencedeeply and struggled againstit. What's puu.

Men Who Hate Women And The Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why

I'mjust one of a million nursesto him. He wasrunning roughshodover her freedomto be separate and independent,and that enragedher. But for many targetsof obsessivelove, the conceptof shared responsibiliry simply doesn't hold true. Start by pressing the button below!

I needto havepeacein my life. Susan Forward. Kirk hadn't realizedthat, despitehis attemptsto cleansehis life of Loretta'stoxic influence,he was still extremelyvulnerable,both to his obsessive lovefor her and to his needto be needed. I alwayshad to be whoeverhe wantsme to be.

  • But this expense? But physical assaultis a futile catharsis.

  • About Susan Forward.

  • Becauseof this, people rarely experience rageand depressionat thesametimerthoughthey can coexistin the sameperson. I read this book the age of 17, almost 20yrs ago.

So I'd find all kinds of excusesto get him to seeme. I keepfighting to get and shekeepswithdrawing, fighting not to give. My whole life had been built around my family. Shefelt threatenedby anything and everything that took Phil away from her.

Thanks for telling us about the problem. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. It has helped me differentiate thoughts from feelings as d This book is extremely helpful with an honest pitch to face our inner demons since childhood and understand how they tend to impact our behaviour in relationships as adults. This is thought to be why it is so intensely painful when the object of obsessive love remains resolutely indifferent to and non-reciprocating of, our ardent yearnings. Mar 24, Josh Einstein rated it really liked it Shelves: self-help.

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Forward, S and Buck, C Aug 24, Justin Pratt added it. What makes this book great is that Susan Forward backs psychology with poignant real life scenarios. Emotional Torture?

I becamevery dependenton him. Self Help. Or elseI'd just sit home and ache. Obsessivelove,on the other hand, is dominatedby fear,possessiveness, andjealousy.

Rageis usually anger turned pove toward someoneelse, while depressionis usuallyangerturned inward againstthe self. It felt great. But I knew exactly what I would do when I got there. Readers also enjoyed. Shares 0. Are you sure you want to Yes No. Natalie willingly acceptedthis notion of Rick as an unlucky victim becausethat meanthe neededsomeoneto changehis luck.

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He wantsall of me for himself. Emotionalviolencecan be extremelydamagirg to a target? Physical changes are triggered in our bodies by romantic feelings, hopes, and fantasies. Idon't careif I neverget a penny of my money back,I know I'd be betteroffwithout him. Unfortunately,shehadn't readthe signs.

He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. Saw parts of myself in many of her examples -- not as much in my behavior towards the other person but definitely in my thinking patterns and behavior towards myself. This is an intense, primal need which too much be, one theory suggests, due to a dysfunctional relationship with our primary care-giver during our very early development leading to a lack of healthy bonding we failed to have fulfilled for us when very young. Nov 10, Thom Dunn added it Shelves: a-own-hardcovermadnessmental-illness. Then it did help me, and until today when I finished it ,I didn't know I had done the healing technique myself and it really gave me a relief to know the causes and the solutions, it really works please do it yourself complete reading and don't get discouraged and leave it without finishingit deserves every I started reading this book less than a year ago reached its middle got depressed a little bit and left it and a few days ago was recommended to me by a web site and decided to finish it. Dec 16, Suyog Garg rated it it was amazing Shelves: owned-booksself-help. What do you take from their reaction, how did it make you feel, what prompted your behavior, etc, etc.

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The person I was involved with was very dishonest and a narcissist and took advantage of me. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Leave a Comment Cancel reply. Showing I related to this book very well and for years have been entangled in a situation the book describes. What was the result.

The extra star is for the self-help part in the last chapter of the book is helpful, I said it is helpful in hindsight. Readers also enjoyed. Jun 03, Ratnah Tanakoor rated it it was amazing. It only took me a few days to read this book and it seemed to explain quite a few things that had mystified me my entire life, such as unresolved issues with anger and sadness as they pertained to my late parents. Jan 27, Nasser Al-mrikhy rated it it was amazing. Community Reviews.

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Saw parts of myself in many of her examples -- not as much in my behavior towards the other person but definitely in my thinking patterns if behavior towards myself. She is not just an ordinary therapist but a gifted person who is really good at writing and telling stories. Overall, a really good book for everyone struggling with this issue and also for family and friends of both obses The author claims that obsession stems from neglect during childhood. Thanks for telling us about the problem.

While our relationship never became physically abusive, it did become emotionally toxic. Sociopathshave the added advantageof often being extremely adept at the art of seduction. It was the only way I could feel like my own individual person again. If shetalkedto a man at a party, he would accuseher of flirtirg. I knew sheleft me to try to makeher marriagework, so I decidedto reallyscrewher. I call this kind of minimizing "selectivefocusing.

Highly experienced in education. There is also a mix between being an obsessive lover and a target, the co-obsessive lover obseessive she presents several cases to further our understanding of this complex topic. But once you've got the knowledge, it's only a matter of choosing a weapon. Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain? Preview — Obsessive Love by Susan Forward. Craig Buck. If you want it - I give it to you .

I still don't understand the "why" of how I got this way, but I recognize the "what". Loading Comments Obsessive love cannot only become emotionally abusive but also physically so, on tl occasions ending with the rape or even murder of their target. But once you've got the knowledge, it's only a matter of choosing a weapon. In some instances, despite being the "obsessor" the person I was with had worse problems, but various problems of the "target" were discussed. They capture me as absorbing fictions. Imo, the material can also be applied to non-romantic obsessive relationships.

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Obsessorswho try to causepain to others are unconsciouslytrying to hand off their own pain. Start reading on Scribd. Home Explore Login Signup. Anne It wasbright lights and big city.

Indeed, it hutts thought to be this very lack of response from the object of obsessive love towards the one afflicted by the obsession that is largely responsible for fueling and perpetuating the obsession. Highly experienced in education. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. I strongly recommend Obsessove Love to anyone who is up for growth and keen for an objective opinion about the self. Shelves: psychology. Although some of her approaches in her other books, such as Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why are a bit more old-school talk therapy, hitting your therapist with a foam bat and so forth they're not completely outdated.

May 15, Ibtisam Amin rated it really liked it. Refresh and try again. Add some now ». I found the self-help ppdf very helpful, although too cognitive to be effective in some cases. It has helped me differentiate thoughts from feelings as d This book is extremely helpful with an honest pitch to face our inner demons since childhood and understand how they tend to impact our behaviour in relationships as adults. One of the most thought-provoking book I have read. View 1 comment.

  • After all, she professedher love for him.

  • I found the self-help section very helpful, although too cognitive to be effective in some cases.

  • There are no discussion topics on this book yet.

  • Therefore, those who fall victim to painful feelings of obsessive love often have a profoundly entrenched perception of themselves as unworthy and essentially unlovable; such an abject self-view has been conditioned, frequently, by their unhappy childhood experiences.

  • When he wasnttthereI was terrified that he wouldn't comehome. Ijust sattherewhileJohn convincedthem that everythingwas okay and they finally left.

Jul 16, Gemini Rose rated it it was amazing. People goo react the way they do due to the way they're treated as well as their mindset. Endeavour Press Ltd. This is the main reason hid behind the scenes, which led to unsatisfying relationship and break up. Leading to chaos and obsessiveness. This is an intense, primal need which can be, one theory suggests, due to a dysfunctional relationship with our primary care-giver during our very early development leading to a lack of healthy bonding we failed to have fulfilled for us when very young.

Most of the book was focused on case studies with practical tips limited to the final chapter. The author claims that obsession stems from neglect during childhood. Zahiduzzaman, A. The pattern is based on the loss of the pare A well-written, easy-to-read self-help volume that explains the reasons why some people may tenaciously cling to lovers, driving them away, or refuse to accept that a relationship has ended, and so forth. Loading Comments Forward maintains offices in Sherman Oaks, California. Founder of childhoodtraumarecovery.

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But Loretta experiencedhis tthelp" asan encroachmenton her freedom. I had to help him out. Shewas scaredabout goingback on the street,so I ofleredher the rescuingthat I alwaysdo.

There are no discussion topics on this book yet. It only took me a few days to read this book and it seemed to explain quite a few things that had mystified me my entire life, such as unresolved issues with anger and sadness as they pertained to my late parents. Affiliate Links. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. I related to this book very well and for years have been entangled in a situation the book describes. I highly recommend this book for every one. She lives in Los Angeles and has two grown children.

When an obsessorhasa paranoidpersonality,or eventendencies in that directiorr I am alwaysconcernedabout the potential for violence. Breakirg Up Is Hard to Do r26 7. I knew it buggedhim but I couldn't help myself--I had to hearhim sayit. Thrgetsof obsessivelove are often forgotten victims. Nora I starteddrivirg over and sitting in front of his house.

  • They lack the internal monitorsof moraliry,ethics,and caringthat causemost of,usto feel guilt and anxiefywhen we hurt others. Anyway, I highly recommend this book.

  • The reason usually stems from an absent parent, and the unresolved issues years later surface in a person seeking out someone they consider The One Magic Person who will solve all their problems, and somehow even make the problem of the past, better.

  • Their confidantsoften find their plight amusing or accusethem of exaggeratirgtheir lover's behavior.

  • I honestly just love Forward's books. Successfully reported this slideshow.

  • Phil was clearlylosing interestin her, but she just focusedon the one aspectof the relationshipthat still worked.

Jun loce, Ratnah Tanakoor rated it it was amazing. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. Leading to chaos and obsessiveness. But overall a good and helpful book with creative techniques. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion.

Want to Read saving…. They capture me as absorbing fictions. Forward starts out going into the different types of obsessive wuen, what they do, why they do what they do, what impact their behavior has on their targets' lives. Jul 26, Rose Merritt rated it liked it. Of course when speaking about "obsessive love," the underlying theme is limerence, and I'm glad that although the word isn't used in the book, the author suggests Howard M.

Yes,shewasdependent on him, but she resentedthat dependencedeeply and struggled againstit. Natalie had left her husbandtwo and a half yearsearlierwhen she discoveredhis long-standingafhir with his secretary. Are Youa Savior?

I found this book in the lobby of my apartment building, where people tend to cast off things they no longer need or want. This one is an easy and interesting read for everyone. As a result of this, the neglected child grows up feeling worthless and inadequate. Automated page speed optimizations for fast site performance. Be the first to start one ». It only took me a few days to read this book and it seemed to explain quite a few things that had mystified me my entire life, such as unresolved issues with anger and sadness as they pertained to my late parents.

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I love lou, but it can neverwork. What a moron I was. I kept tqnng to convinceher to getwork, but sheneverdid anythingaboutit. The extra star is for the self-help part in the last chapter of the book is helpful, I said it is helpful in hindsight. As we got to know each other a little better, she finally began to talk more about herself and her marriage. He was musclinghis way back into her life.

Debra neversawHal again. Welcome back. Forward intersperses a number of case studies together with her counseling wisdom to show the ugly underbelly of obsessive romantic fixation. Never mind that he wasfrightening and infuriating Gloria by showingup unannounced virtually everywhereshe went-his emotional tunnel vision pushed this behaviorinto the blurry background.

Karen'sself-worthhad beendevastatedby u bad marriageand a long string of unsuccessfulattemptsto find a new relationship. I'd makeup somereasonfor him to comeover. Flowers smell more fragrant, music sounds more beautiful, the sky seemsbluer, our pulse quickens, our mood soars. I'd finally found the man I was going to spendthe rest of my life with.

What makes this book great is that Susan Forward backs psychology with poignant real life scenarios. I highly recommend reading this book to the last paper. About Susan Forward. I read it and found out that I had been on both sides of the equation: obsessive lover and target of an obsessive lover. I strongly recommend Obsessove Love to anyone who is up for growth and keen for an objective opinion about the self.

The obsessive instances shown seem too extreme for me to resonate. There is also a mix between being an obsessive lover and a target, the co-obsessive lover and she presents several cases to further our understanding of this complex topic. Founder of childhoodtraumarecovery. Showing

I've beenhavingan afhir with your wife for five years. When an obsessorhasa paranoidpersonality,or eventendencies in that directiorr I am alwaysconcernedabout the potential for violence. And then the roof fell in.

He made Natalie feel like the villain. More filters. I don't dhen remember driving over there, I was on automatic pilot. It really broke my heart. He knew Anne wantedto get married,but for him it was too earlyin the relationship to considersucha commitment. Margaretwas convinced that his rejectionwasa deliberateattemptto hurt her,to pull the emotionalrug out from under her. I think aboutmakinghim candlelight dinners;I think about us nakedtogether,about him putting his armsaround ffie, holding me, makinglove to me.

This wasnow threeor four in the morning. It waslike, She said no man had ever been so tender and warm and caring and sincere with her as I was. I meanhereI was,eight yearsolder than him, and he didn't care. I stoppedby her house, just thinking I would suqpriseher. May 20, Sviatoslav rated it really liked it.

I didn't even need to do the journaling exercises because as luck would have it, I recently published a page memoir about that month affair. To create our Someone very close to me, who had to leave gave me this book when I was deep in love the last time.

We all need a helpinghand now and then. Holding on to or recapturitg their rejectinglover is much more than a questionof desire for obsessivelovers. I could hear a neighborshouting,"Call the police, Harry" but Ijust kept breakingthings. All the time.

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I come down heavierand heavier,but it's never enoughto satisfr me. Now I'm feeding her,I'm feedingher scumbagfriends,I'm giving her money. I've known obsessivelovers to undermine their ex-lover'sfinancesby running up excessivechargeson joint credit cards. S Openingthe Floodgates 55 I was totally convincedthat they were out for a lovey-dovey lunch. She became clingy and demanding,which only increasedher fear becauseshe knew such behaviorwould alienatePhil. The person I was involved with was very dishonest and a narcissist and took advantage of me.

No wonder so manyobsessivelovers are drawn to the role of Savior. I hateit, but I needit, too. Most obsessorsfeel this way, yet they often have nowhere to turn for support. The sun was shining, the water was shimmering. I kept tqnng to convinceher to getwork, but sheneverdid anythingaboutit.

Like all Saviors,shewasdrawn to her target'shelplessness. Number of embeds 0. Since then she had had a two-yearrebound relationshipwith a married colleaguethat ended disastrouslywhen his wife camehome unexpectedlyone afternoonand discoveredthem in bed together. She was very British, so she wasn't used to discussing her feelings openly, but that only intrigued me more. Anne He startedto leaveand I told him I'd really kill myselfif he walkedout now.

There was somethirgabout the closeddoor that meantrejectionto me and that terrifiedme. But somethingabout the One Magic Personclearly taps into the individual needsand yearningsthat lie deeplyembededin the obsessive lover'sunconscious. One of the most thought-provoking book I have read. Margaretbouncedbetweenher rageand trer lovelike a Ping-Pongball. Books by Susan Forward.

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This mild form of obsessionis perfectlyhealthyaslong asit is generally a temporaryphaseand the feelingsarereciprocal. Thank you for the brutal honesty. It is a questionof survival. He knew Anne wantedto get married,but for him it was too earlyin the relationship to considersucha commitment. Margaret After a coupleweeks,he told me he was in love with me. Sep 27, Linda rated it really liked it.

Dpf, althoughshe knew shehad no hope of a relationship, she still remained totally fixated on her One Magic Person. That night we had the best sex we'd ever had. It was the only way I could feel like my own individual person again. For a month, he'd calledher, stoppedby her house,and sentletters. No Downloads. Becauseof this, people rarely experience rageand depressionat thesametimerthoughthey can coexistin the sameperson.

I found this book in the lobby of my apartment building, where people tend to cast off things they no longer need or want. Their friendsand family can't understandwhy they don'tjust ttforgetabout" their lover and get on with their lives. TheMentalSculptor In healthyrelationships,? I'djust sit and drink wine cooler afterwine cooler.

I don't meanto imply that Sarah'sprovocation in any wayjustified Robert's attack,but for obsessivelovers,shatteredhope esoften a powerful mucj violence. I think aboutmakinghim candlelight dinners;I think about us nakedtogether,about him putting his armsaround ffie, holding me, makinglove to me. It canbejust asdestructiveto an obsessor'semotionalwell-beingas any other type of obsessivelove and,if left unchecked,can escalateinto obsessive behavior,drasticallyaffectingthe livesof both the obsessorand the target. Many of the obsessors wereintelligent,attractive,successful people, who had been shocked and ashamedby their own behavioryet had felt powerlessto do anythingabout it. Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising.

The important thing is to think and not act impulsively, to label obsessive love as obsessive, to not get totally invested in a relationship, to not be crushed if a relationship ends. In a way, I f It's me. Anyway, I highly recommend this book. I wish I had read it before. May 20, Sviatoslav rated it really liked it. Refresh and try again.

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